“What about socialization?” If you homeschool, you have been asked this question at least once. And that’s OK.

Here are 7 ways to deal with the socialization question:

1. Congratulate this person for having the courage to ask. Homeschooling one’s child is like wearing braces after 35. Even though it is legal and more accepted than ever, it remains a bit of a stigma. Most people think they embarrass you if they ask questions about it.

2. Ask them to define socialization from their perspective, so you understand their background. It also helps with figuring out the emotion behind the question. Are they open-minded and curious? Or angry and closed-minded? Give information to the curious and don’t argue with the angry ones.

3. Mention your children attend [insert activities outside the home], where they have lots of opportunities to interact with people of different ages and walks of life.

4. Tell them people have socialized their children in the context of home for millennia. Ask, “Do you think American children were ‘unsocialized’ before 1852, when compulsory attendance was introduced for the first time?”

5. Smile. Ask: “What do Jesus, George Washington, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Albert Einstein, Tim Tebow, and Will Smith’s children have in common? Homeschooling. As far as I know, none of them has/had problems interacting with others.”

6. Using a meek voice, tell them:  “Socialization in a school environment is self-taught and unsupervised, i.e. children learn to socialize between classes or during recess and lunch. No adult takes the time to teach them the proper way to interact with each other because adults are not welcome in their circles at those times. Adults only intervene when things get out of hand. This type of socialization has more to do with being cool and fitting in than with manners, team work, and being polite.”

7. Last but not least, use this: “Personally, I have a problem with the quality and quantity of socialization that happens in schools. Spending 35 hours a week in a classroom with 30 other children is not socialization. It is over-socialization.”

However you answer the socialization question, be gracious and patient, not snarky and sarcastic. People are on different journeys. The last thing they need is to be snapped at by a homeschooling mom.

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