It’s A Process

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After a couple of days of even more incidents, we have finally made headway with our wild child – how else? – by first changing our own head. First on my own, then by talking with my husband, then by seeing other moms.

It just so happened that for the following two days I saw two other homeschooling moms at different events and they both shared their experience with me. They sympathized with this situation and told me what worked for them.

The most important take away is this: our children are showing us who they are. And that is a good thing. Before they go into the world, they show their true colors to us, their parents. We should be glad they trust us with their true selves. Don’t we want to know our children? Don’t we want to know they are independent and strong-minded and not push overs?

The second thing is this: I discovered something about myself in the process. If I can walk away from this encounter with a better understanding of what makes me tick (and not tick) then I count it all joy.

Which leads me to the third point: trials are really a source of joy because they cause us to grow. Yes, experiencing trials may be painful and intense and seemingly negative, but as long as we grow from it, it is all worth it.

Last but not least, our children are their own persons. We might want them to do something for our own fulfillment, but they may go in a different direction. The funny thing is, we might not even know why we behave a certain way. Our own secret desires may not be known to us until a conflict arises. What comes out of our mouth may surprise us and enlighten us.

For that, trials and conflicts in a homeschool are to be embraced and lived through and slowly but surely looked upon as blessings – count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations, as James eloquently put it in his epistle.


Discouragement

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Tonight I feel discouraged. We had an incident during violin practice with one of our children. This child refuses to slow down and do what is required. I worked and worked with their attitude. Nothing worked. Nothing I tried, that is.

Finally, I had to put a stop to the practice and send the child to their room. I felt so empty.

When I don’t succeed in motivating interest, it takes away my energy.

I feel discouraged.

What I know for sure is that when one is discouraged, one should not make any decisions.

I will not make any decisions. Not tonight.

Consequences will have to be applied – removal of privileges works well. No screen time for a week or something of that nature. No dessert – sugar is not good for us anyway…

It’s not the action. It’s the attitude behind the action that bothers me. It’s the defiance that needs to be addressed.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Even if my children attended a private school or a public school, I would still be the one enforcing violin practice and piano practice, along with homework.

It was a tough day at the office. My husband reassures me this too shall pass. Education, like parenting, is a journey and some portions of this journey are tough.

Here’s to the power of prayer and steadfastness.


Thoughtful Thursday Week 49 – The Sugar Plum Fairy Is Flexible

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Today we attended The Nutcracker Ballet in Knoxville, at the Civic Auditorium. It’s quickly becoming an annual tradition for us. This is our third year in a row. The children enjoy it very much. I love it. Ballet, like any art, is therapeutic. It healed some of the brokenness I was feeling after the terror attacks in Paris, San Bernardino, and the loss of our friends’ daughter last week.

Nutcracker ballerinas

The Appalachian Ballet Company has been performing The Nutcracker for 44 years.

On a funny note, my son told my husband, “Daddy, I don’t want to dance.” Poor guy. Mommy took him to several concerts by the Knoxville Youth Symphony Orchestra several years ago and, next thing he knew, he got a violin for his fifth birthday and started violin lessons. Now that he sees mommy keeps taking him to this ballet, he wonders if the next extra-curricular activity is dance.  Continue reading »


Involve Your Relatives in Your Kids’ Education

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Home education can greatly benefit from the help and involvement of your family. According to the Harvard Family Research Project, getting your relatives involved in your kids’ education can make a big difference in how well children adjust and how much they learn. But what exactly is family involvement and how can you make your relatives important in your kids’ education?

Find out how your kids learn – Before you seek to involve your relatives, find out how your children learn. Not all children understand things in the same way, so if your child is a visual learner, he will need different help from an auditory learner. For more information about your child’s unique learning style, you can check out Scholastic. Once you have established this, it will be easier to prepare activities and exercises that are suitable to your kids’ needs.

Set structure and routine – For successful parent and relative involvement, you need to set certain activities and timetables for your kids. Setting structures and routines at home – for example, every Tuesday afternoon, Uncle Edward teaches Spanish, or every Sunday the grandparents come to read stories – makes learning a priority. Be as consistent as possible in maintaining that structure.  Continue reading »


She Leaves Glitter on Me

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The other day, I bought my daughter some winter outfits and everything sparkled. Glitter is in, apparently. You can’t get away from it.

Of course, my daughter loves it. The trouble is, the sparkles come off on anything her clothes touch. Not a whole lot. Just enough to leave me sparkling after I had her in my lap for a few minutes. But is that really trouble?

She leaves glitter on me, my five-year-old daughter. And oh, how I treasure it.

Ann Voskamp wrote that she gave birth to six children but each of them gave birth to her in return. Every time a woman becomes a mother, she becomes a new person. The world changes when your child comes into the world. You change. The child changes the mother.

Children fundraising for Operation Christmas Child

My children waiting for donations for Operation Christmas Child, dressed in their Adventurer uniforms. Deborah is wearing her blue coat, her back toward the camera.

And daughters especially have a way of leaving glitter on our clothes, on our hearts, on our hands.

Tonight a friend of mine is mourning the loss of her eight-year-old daughter, killed in a freak backyard accident a week ago. No more glitter. Deborah – that was her name – is now a memory. The mother is afraid to go back to her home and walk through her daughter’s room. She is staying with her own parents, unable to make herself look at her daughter’s glitter.  Continue reading »


Taking Out the Trash

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About once a year, we arm ourselves with trash bags and walk through our neighborhood to pick up trash. We probably should do it more often. Maybe we will, as the kids get older.

Boy with collected trash on Earth Day

My son with the trash he collected along the road in our neighborhood.

They learn so much by doing it. Plus, it counts as service. I don’t have a particular number of service hours as a goal, though maybe I should. But I know service is important for the children. They need to learn life consists of times when we help others or we work hard for no tangible reward. We only receive the satisfaction of having cleaned the ditches in our neighborhood.  Continue reading »


Monosyllabic Answers vs. Full Sentences

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For my son’s yearly checkup, we took him to the pediatrician who has seen him since he was one day old. It’s one hour away from home, but it’s worth it. We make a day of it, or half a day of it. Everything looked great and the doctor especially remarked how well-spoken my son was.

Writing With Ease

This pediatrician sees a lot of kids these days who answer his questions with one syllable: yeah, no, uh, err… My son answers in long sentences, four or five of them, and gives many details. Sometimes I think too many. We have to stop him gently and let other people continue the conversation. Continue reading »


Better Vision

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The blind man came to Jesus and shouted, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” They told him to be quiet. They said, “Don’t disturb Him! Don’t make so much noise!” But he kept it up. He asked for mercy. Jesus heard him. The Savior wanted the man to be specific. “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man had prepared his answer. He was quick to say, “Lord, grant that I may see again!” And Jesus gave him his eyesight back. (Some translations suggest this man used to be able to see, but went blind at some point in his life.)

NaBloPoMo2015

For the first time, I am posting every day for a month.

We all need to pray this prayer as we homeschool our children. Not just a general prayer of “Lord, have mercy on me!” but a specific prayer for better vision. Our prayer needs to go along the lines of specific details. Jesus invites us to pray for certain specific aspects of our lives.  Continue reading »


Illusion vs. Reality

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I have been reading Don Quixote and one thing is for sure: this book is about illusion vs. reality, which is a human dilemma through and through. At first, I saw myself in Don Quixote. Now, I see other people in him. Events in different people’s lives can be a certain way in their minds, when the reality is completely different.

What does all this have to do with homeschooling?

Don Quixote

For one, it’s a good argument for annual testing outside the home. We have chosen to test our children every year starting in second grade, using a national standardized test (Terra Nova 3, which used to be called California Achievement Test). I may think my children are doing really well while they may not. Illusion vs. reality.

They might struggle with particular aspects of Language Arts, for instance, and excel in Science. Or the other way around. Since we don’t quiz them incessantly at home, I don’t know how much they remember from everything we do.  Continue reading »


Thoughtful Thursday Week 48 – Give Thanks

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To celebrate Thanksgiving, we went to Asheville, NC. The Omni Grove Park Inn serves a Thanksgiving Grand Buffet, plus one can take a look at the Top 10 National Gingerbread House Competition creations for 2015. Here are some pictures for you…

National Gingerbread House Competition

 

National Gingerbread House Competition

 

National Gingerbread House Competition Continue reading »