Last week, I attended a Christian College Fair at Berean Christian School in Knoxville, TN. I learned a lot and, as I was leaving, a friend from co-op stopped me and asked me why I did not bring my son with me. “Well, he doesn’t want to go to college.” She was at a loss for words, but recovered quickly and we kept talking about her daughter’s plans. Friends know when to stop asking questions.
Christian College Fair
Honestly, we just want the best for him and do not feel we should impose anything on him at this point. Adolescents change their minds often. We have some friends who advise us to tell our son, “You will take the campus tour. [After one college tour, he refused to go see anything else, because he was pretty sure he was not going to go to college next year.] You will apply to this college. [He has already applied to five, but the list was longer and he slashed it down. He has been accepted with generous scholarships everywhere he applied.] You don’t know what you don’t know.” But that is not how we parent. If it works for other families, great.
Going to college is one thing. The College Application Process is another thing altogether. Ever since August, when our son was already questioning the college path, we decided as a family that we were at least committing to the process of applying to college. Whether he would go or not, we left that in the air. By September 11, our son pretty much had made up his mind that he was not going to college. You know what happened on September 10. However, we finish what we start. We started the process of applying, we were going to finish the process of applying.
Berean Christian School Entrance for the College Fair
If that is confusing for some people, so be it. To us, this made a lot of sense. Life offers options and choices every step of the way. As long as you finish what you start, you give yourself options and you build character and grit. We are proud of our son, his work ethic and drive. He wants to start a business rather than spend the next four years theorizing in a classroom (while occasionally going to labs).
The College Admissions Process takes several months. Our son has already walked through all the steps. Things are set in motion. He doesn’t need to decide anything for sure for two more months. Plenty of things can happen between now and December 15. Let the chips fall where they may.
On my way out of the Christian College Fair, this administrator came to chat with me and I told her my dilemma. My son could go to college on a full merit scholarship, but he doesn’t want to. She tried to give me different arguments for the college route, but I gently explained why my son would refuse every one of those reasons. Finally, tearing up, she said, “Some kids can really benefit from a gap year. My daughter bottomed out of college during her first year and never went back. She is in her 30s now. Listen to what your son is telling you. Maybe deep inside he feels he is not ready emotionally. It’s not just about academics.” We hugged and said goodbye. Was she an “angel” from the Lord sent to encourage me to allow my son to follow his heart?
