Every parent knows the feeling. One moment you’re full of love and indulgence, the next your kids are testing every limit and you swing hard in the opposite direction — yelling, threatening, or going completely permissive to make up for it. It’s human. We love our children deeply and desperately want to get it right, so we overcorrect.
Parenting in the Extremes
On a recent episode of the Homeschool Ways Podcast, I spoke with Manu Brune, author of Overcorrecting: Parenting in the Middle While the World Shouts in Extremes. Manu is a parent coach, postpartum specialist, and founder of Beyond Birth Basics. She sees this pendulum swing in families everywhere — especially among intentional parents who are trying hard not to repeat the mistakes of previous generations.
Manu explains it through the parenting pendulum. We consume endless advice on social media and parenting books that promise the “right” script: get down on their level, use a gentle voice, connect before correcting. When we inevitably fall short and snap, guilt kicks in. That guilt often sends us flying to the other extreme — no boundaries, ice cream for everything, or total loss of structure. We swing from rigid discipline to permissiveness, from over-structured homeschool days to complete unschooling, and back again.
Watch the YouTube version of the video podcast here.
Why are we so vulnerable to extremes today? The constant information highway plays a big role. Algorithms reward certainty and loud opinions, not nuance. Every expert, influencer, and study presents one “best” way — on sleep, feeding, education, or behavior. Fear fuels the reactivity: fear of damaging our child, fear of judgment (especially as homeschoolers), fear of getting it wrong.
Manu reminds us that connection must come before correction. Kids don’t need perfect parents; they need present ones. The middle path isn’t wishy-washy — it’s the most intentional place to parent. It starts with clarity on your family values, really seeing the unique child in front of you (their temperament, sensitivities, needs), and asking in each moment: What does this situation require — connection, structure, or a balance of both?
A simple first step she recommends: Spend a week journaling your interactions. Note what happened and how you felt. Understanding your own nervous system reactions helps you respond with more calm discernment instead of fear-driven control.
As homeschool parents, we already carry extra responsibility and outside judgment. That pressure can push us further into extremes as we try to “prove” our choices work. But our kids mainly need our presence and a model of thoughtful regulation. When we pause, breathe, and choose wisdom over fear, we teach them the same.
If you’re tired of the pendulum and ready to parent more steadily in the middle, I highly recommend Manu’s book, Overcorrecting: Parenting in the Middle While the World Shouts in Extremes.
Parenting in today’s noisy world is hard enough. Finding the grounded middle brings back peace — for us and for our children.
